my life as blogged in Art 250

Kinda late but I have a lot on my mind and just thought that Id write a little about it. I think that Im going to start journaling again. I used to like to write at the end of the day and just get my thoughts out but it seems like every time I get a good period of time going where I am keeping a journal it is revolving around a girl or something like that then the girl will go and I wont want to write in that journal anymore. Oh well sounds kind of lame but thats why Im typing now rather than writing.
I had a good break. It was actually really refreshing. I painted some, havent done that in some time. I was good to get away from the computer feel the can of spra paint in my hand again. Every time I go it makes me want to go more. I really suck at it but its a good diversion from the work that I do. It was weird coming back to school this time. I usually cant wait to get back and get away from home but this time it was different. I actually didnt want to go, kind of strange. I think that the older I get and the more unstable that my life is...which it really is right now...the more I cling to the things that are stable and no matter what my home is at least that. I think that at times like this in my life change doesnt come easy for me. Usually I think that I thrive off of change. I guess Ive just got a lot going with trying to get my internships lined up, getting projects done, figuring out what I want to do after graduation, and then trying to see how all of that fits into where God is leading me. Its just so strange to me to try to reason my way through. I know that most of the people that are around me now would tell me that it is foolish to reason through it at all just go do what you want to do and dont worry about where "God is leading you" but something in me just cant do that. The more and more I think about it the more that I see that this world is really just passing, its terribly temporal. I dont want to invest my life in what is passing away, but rather on what will not pass. I think that that decision is the easy part, it just makes sense to me...but finding the how I will invest is what gets me. I dont know if that means going to Brazil and working with Kent, Chris, and the rest of the staff. Ive considered trying to do the overseas traveling thing doing videos...not enough though...that would be a really cool way to spend a year or so. Looking at who God has made me its just hard to try to figure out wether or not to persue art or film or something like that or even teaching...or to just go somewhere and invest in people. Its confusing do I try to make art to influence a culture...teach art to impact college kids to impact a culture...or go invest in college students full time not just on the side so that they will go impact cultures. Its just a lot for a guy to try to figure out. I think that next semester will be big for me getting a better idea. I'll see if my art is going to be effective with this ncur thing...if it gets accepted then Ill get to see what people think about it and if anything speaks to people, I plan on asking a few girls out next semester...that will tell me if Im going to stay single for a while more, Ill have an internship somewhere and that will give me a little taste of working life, and this summer Ill be a team leader at beach project so there is the investing full time thing so I guess I just have to take it day by day and be faithful with what Ive got so far. Not just always looking forward to next whatever but taking advantage of each day. I dont want to waste a lot of time looking ahead and in the process miss whats here. Well guess thats enough thinking for before bed.

Get to leave to go home for a few days today. I actually kind of like it here just fine. I rearranged my room last night, seems like it will help me be more productive. I moved my computer infront of my window so I can at least look at the world outside. I still have to get together a DVD for my internship possibilities and finish a few different videos. Then I get to start learning programming. Im going to try to learn some action scripting in flash, fx building in final cut, and some c++ basics. It probably doesnt make a lot of sense for me to try to learn all of that but I think that it will come in handy later on in some other things that I would like do make.

Had a busy weekend, but prodctive. I got done with the beverage commercial that I had to do, I think it turned out pretty well. Also got done with the video side of the McDonalds video that I took a week or so ago. I still have to do the audio though. Im looking for the McDonalds "we love to see you smile" jingle online. Im not sure if Im going to get to go to the undergraduate research thing it seems like the deadline snuck up on me and Im not sure if I like the format....only 15 min of video but Im still looking at it.

Went and shot my Skaterade commercial today. I think it will be impressive. I need it to be so I can get one of if not both of these internships that Ive been looking at. Hopefully I'll know something real soon. The one guy at Atomic pix told me that he wanted to talk to me the beginning of December. The other one I still dont know if Im going really be into it, dont like a lot of the stuff that they say that they are doing, mostly corperate stuff.

I finshed my real world dvd the other day. It is actually better than I thought it was going to be. I showed it to Matt and he made some really good suggestions so now with a little more work I think its going to be great. I hope to get to go to the undergraduate research convention to prestent it. It would be great if I get to but if not still Ive got a cool DVD to show to all my friends.

Went to Atlanta last night to see a bunch of cool metal bands but only one ended up being cool, Children of Bodom. They were amazing but the sad thing was that they only played for like 30 min. That part sucked a lot. Dimmu Borgir wasnt really all that great. They were loud and fast but other than that not too much good. The best part was that I met Alexi from Children of Bodom. He was walking by and Allen said, "Hey there is Alexi" so I went up to him and started talking at him then asked to take a picture with him, he said sure and Allen tried to take it but it didnt take, so then I got kinda disappointed but not too bad, but then I saw him again and Allen and I got to get our picture taken with him together, it was awesome. Im going to email it to Brian Butterworth, he's going crap his pants.

Kind of a weird week. Last night was kind of funny too. I was talking with Allen at dinner and he said that he and Victoria were watching a movie then asked me if I wanted to join them...I then invited others. Apparently that wasnt alright with Allen and he ended up not watching the movie. I know why but its not really worth my writing about. Later I went to Waffle House with Stephen and we hung out for a while, it was good. I hope to talk to Allen sometime today to see whats up on his side of the story, I think I understand it all but I guess Ill see later.
Im excited about this weekend looks like Matt, Allen and I are going to go to the McDonalds that has the crazy wall paper of all the zoo animals eating McD food. I cant wait...Im going to do a video and some prints of it. Im also going to help allen do a video for a gumball machine that he's doing.

Fell asleep earlier today and missed lunch...all that means is that I get to enjoy the frustration of operating within the system of Sodexho again....I guess I can go to Jazzmans to get something, but wait...dont like the food that they have there, but oh well its not like there is anywhere else and its not like the caf is actually open anytime that isnt totally convienent for them. Oh well. Got my first animation done so now I can struggle through the second two...registered for class...and am looking for an internship...more later.

Had a program last night. We watched Gummo. It was actually good I thought. It was cool to hang out with all of the new guys that live in Fuller too. I have to go to Chattanooga today to do a video for Christmas Conference. Not too sure if Im going to like that or not but its a free trip to Chatanooga and Ill get to see some folks that I havent seen in a while. I went and filled out my graduation card yesterday and had an "exit interview" I actually learned yesterday in a Media Management class that exit interviews are given when people get fired. So I guess Im terminated from the university after may...or at least until I pay more money to take more classes, but Ill be terminated with a degree so that will be good.

Got my spy camera in the mail yesterday, then got some batteries today. Man its I think just about the best use of 30 dollars that I have ever spent. Its amazing. Im almost done with most of the projects that Ive been working on here recently. I just need to print out some big copies of my coloring book, and print some covers and then that will be done. My Real World project...I think Im done with all of the editing...I may go back through the episodes again to scan for negativity that I didnt get the first time and put together a montage of all the fights with Kevin. Then Im going to burn a DVD. Matt told me to consider using some of it for animation stuff....I think that I may but I need to think it through to see how it would fit with my truism. All that means that I can begin new projects and that is absolutly wonderful, because I am tired of the ones that Ive been working on. The thing is that Ive been working the better part of the semester on all of them and I really dont even have a product to show for either of them. I hope to have something tangible in the next week or so...should happen. The next thing that Im going to do is going to be the McDonalds menu thing where I reconstruct and install it. Im going to do a video too, so that should be great and Ill get to use the spy cam.
I filled out my graduation card today, so I guess Im going to graduate in May....still not too sure about that one.

Had a good weekend. I got a bunch of stuff done on my Real World project. Ill be done in the next day or two, depending on how much time I get to work on it. Got a call from Stephen I guess on saturday and he said that he was still in the hospital waiting on his kidneys to start working again. Its just so odd that they quit working and when he asks the doctors what to do so that this wont happen again...they just say "dont let it happen again" seems like they still arent sure why they failed to begin with...strange and not too comforting. Anyway I went up to the hospital last night to hang out with him. Didnt get to stay too long because Ginger went with me and she had to be back at 8 for a meeting. It was still good to see him though. I hope that he actually gets to come home today, but if not Im going to go back up there tonite. Really other than that I didnt do too much this weekend...went and got coffee with some friends not too exciting there but it was ok.